Regardless, here are my three thinks for the day:
Blackouts - So last night I get home early due to a miraculous lapse in
traffic. Hubby is off to a diving course and I’m home alone. Mischievously, I
rub my hands together, trying to decide what I want to do first. So many
possibilities! I start making up a list in my head: watch all the programs I
recorded; paint nails; make killer sandwich; take long bath; watch series on
laptop; work on book… Afraid that I won’t get to everything, I launch into
super-speed and start building my dinner: a grilled cheese, ham and jalapeno
sandwich.
Just as I pop it into the grill, sudden blackness descends. My first
reaction is to scream, but I bite it back just in time when I realise that it’s
just a blackout and that I did not, in fact, go instantly blind. I calm myself
down and take in my surroundings (pointless). Luckily, the grill was hot, so I
manage to cook a decent enough ‘wich. But now what? Just as I start looking
for candles (and by ‘looking’ I mean bumping into things and tripping over a
mysterious cable), the lights come on!! Yay!! Frantically, I start running
around, trying to make up for lost time. I set up my laptop in bed and take
a first bite of my dinner as I listen cheerfully to Windows starting up.
Blackness. Again.
I choke a little on a jalapeno, part surprise and part
annoyance. Seeing as my laptop’s battery has been nothing but a decoration for
years, it goes off immediately. Dammit! I scramble for candles again and manage
to find a strangely skew one that’s leaning over the side of the holder. Fine,
it’ll do.
Just as I sit down to finally eat… LIGHT!!!! Oh joy! I jump up and
hurriedly put on my pj’s, put the candle away, start up the laptop again and
settle down.
Dark.
“You have got to be kidding me!” I shout, effectively
peeving off about four neighbourhood dogs. And that was it. My whole plan gone.
Sad and all alone, I eat my (now cold) dinner by crooked candlelight.
Afterward, I realise I have nothing left to do, so I go to bed. Two hours
later; hubby comes home, lights go back on, and he whistles merrily as he heats
up food in the microwave and watches TV in the background. Hmph.
Waiting - I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew it was not
going to be ideal, easy or glamorous. I knew it would be a lonely road, having
to depend on myself. No-one can do it for me. I have to learn, improve, hone,
focus and be creative – by myself. But the reality is a lot more intimidating.
I am still writing my fantasy novel, pushing through every chance I get. I am contacting
publishers. I am sending samples to agents. I am hoping and praying every day.
Can it just happen, though? I hate having to wait, doubting myself and going
through my proposals again and again, wondering if I could have done something
differently. It’s strenuous, draining, scary. I read over my work again,
assuring myself that it is perfect – that I would have written it in exactly
the same way if I had to go back. But I still doubt myself. Why is it taking so
long?
Can’t it just happen like in the movies, with some PA of the Editor
coming across my manuscript as it lays discarded under the fax machine, and
then reading it and fighting for it until they contact me out of nowhere with a
three book deal?
Guess there’s nothing to it but to keep going. I can create and mold my Fantasy novel, but in ‘the real world’ I can’t do anything but wait.
And trust.
Linkin Park - Oh my word. I cannot even begin to describe how awesome
the concert was. We went to watch in Johannesburg on Saturday and, upon
arriving at the stadium, I knew I was back with ‘my people’: black nails, raucous laughter, army boots and 90 minute queues for beer. The energy in the
crowd was something indescribable: hyped-up, friendly, excited. Two hours
before the band even peeked out, thousands of people were doing a Mexican Wave; shouting, clapping and threatening to throw each other over the rails on the stairs. When the Kongos opened, the crowd was already close to bursting –
and the energy just kept building. All of a sudden, Jack Parow jumps on stage
out of nowhere and people go off like a collective siren! Amazing to think that
he came on unannounced and that everyone knew who he was – he must have had to
change his pants afterward.
When the band finally did appear in the
back corner of the stage, I thought the stadium was going to implode. The noise
was astounding! I don’t think I will ever see something like that again and I
sure as heck will never forget it. The crowd sang along to e-v-e-r-y word and
jumped and swayed in unison. It felt so good to be all studded-out and
eye-lined, headbanging and screaming my lungs out – haven’t done that in years!
And the South African flag on stage…(tear). That was one of the best experiences
of my life – now an even bigger fan.
Keep hoping and moving along, go crazy every once in a while and remember to keep PROPER candles around. Life is too short to be scraping off dripped wax from your carpet.
And leave comments! I get back to you whenever I can!
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