How to Move House with a Cat, Idea-Vortex, The Plan

First of all, thanks to everyone who told me how much they like the new look of Three Thinks! Having much fun with it myself!

With that out of the way, here are my three thinks for today:

How to Move House with a Cat - Set up strategic plan of action to relocate feline ruler. Find and borrow travel box big enough - and with strong lock to keep subject from escaping through extreme display of kung fu.
Buy 'highly palatable' (according to box) dewormer so as to comply with new estate rules. Watch happily as cat scoffs it all down. Frown disappointingly when cat throws it all back up.
Buy new dewormer - tablet form. Locate cat and pet reassuringly as try to pry jaws open. Stuff tablet down throat. Find tablet spat out under bedside table. Corner cat again and vow to take no prisoners. Find tablet behind curtain and mop up blood from savaged arms and fingers. Crush tablet and dissolve in milk like scaly bartender with bad intentions. Watch happily as cat downs spiked drink.
Lock up cat in house on day of move. Freak out when cleaners let him escape. Find him under shrub and lock up in garage. Freak out when husband lets him escape. Find him near washing line and lock up in box.
Finally load up vexed cat in car. Listen with grinding teeth at his opera tenor laments all the way to the city (an hour's drive) and try to keep him from clawing leather seats through hole in box.
Unleash crazed creature in new bedroom and watch warily as he explores new surroundings. Frown in confusion when he hides under duvet and refuses to come out. For two days.
Allow him to explore garden on third day. Stick plasters on wounds after catching and putting him back in house afterward. Nearly wet yourself when scary clawed monster suddenly attacks your leg in dead of night in darkened hallway. Throw cat out window and shout after him 'I'm only looking out for you, but fine! Fend for yourself you ungrateful animal!', or something similar.
Sigh in relief next day when companion clumsily jumps back through window and nearly strangles himself on foreign burglar bars. Seems like he'll be fine.

Idea-Vortex - For some strange reason I tend to get the best ideas for my book at approximately two minutes before I fall asleep. In my drowsy state I always attempt to write them down or type them into my phone, but paralysis always sets in just as I'm reaching toward the bedside table. The next morning, I'm faced with having to go through my entire mental process of the night before in an attempt to locate my brilliant idea among the thoughts of hamburgers, purple dresses and scenes from Troy. It's painstaking, but most of the time it's worth it. Like the perfect set-up for my next chapter that will magically link the the next part of the book with the previous. Other times, however, I go through all the turmoil, thinking that a gem of an idea might be hiding somewhere in my subconscious, only to find that my midnight stroke of genius was nothing but an idiotic plan of my heroine buying an orange in town. Can't win 'em all.

The Plan - Recently (and when I say 'recently', I mean 'yesterday') I read up about something that has been intriguing me for quite some time. It's a business opportunity that, if done right, could have the potential to finally launch my career as an author. It's exciting and scary at the same time, but I really do think that I should go for it. I am giving myself a month to decide and to do my homework. I'll keep you updated!!

Dream as much as you can (whether asleep or no), give yourself the opportunity to try something new and buy a big enough travel-box (the seating in your car will be grateful).

More new things!

Like I haven't had enough already...

So you'll notice that two new pages have been added: Whatnots and The Book. On the Whatnots page you'll find random things that amuse , inspire or irk me - comment away, People of the Internet!!
The Book page will contain all the news pertaining to The Unsheathed Key - hopefully to be updated soon!

Please enjoy the new add-ons!

So many new things

Besides the fact that I have just moved to a new place (again), set up a new monthly budget and bought new scatter cushions; I have given my blog a new look too! New name, new image (given, not the one I wanted as it seems an impossible task to upload a coveted picture) and new readers (hopefully).

My blog has grown exceptionally these past few months - apparently I am doing something right. Thanks for the support and feedback!

As mentioned in a previous post, I am aiming to share much more about my writing journey here. As it tends to fill up my already clogged mind, this is the perfect place to spit out a few ideas. My basic 'three thinks' will stay the same, though - so don't go hyperventilating, OK?

By the way, if anyone can explain to me (preferably in simple words and in steps) how to upload a background image to Blogger that will not repeat - that would be great! I am not tech-savvy at best of times and all this talk of codes and whatnot on the forums has raised the same impaling dread in me that I used to feel before a maths exam...

10 Minute Shopping, Walking into a dream, Soon

Time to beat my thoughts into order!

My three thinks for today are:

10 Minute Shopping - It can be done!! I am proud to report that I somehow managed to choose, fit and buy two bikinis for summer in 10 minutes flat.

Now, now. Lower your eyebrows, lady with the doubtful look on your face. I wouldn’t have believed it either. Usually, bikini shopping for me consists of about two weeks of rifling through magazines and peeking through shop windows, trying to scope out what I like. This is followed by careful calculations, taking into account: my budget, my holiday destination, whether I can mix the bikini with my beachwear, and my current hair colour. Yes, it’s incredibly shallow, but I know I’m not the only one who does this… So take your tsk-tsking somewhere else.

After I’ve decided what I want, I go searching different shops and malls for The One. It takes an average of about four trips before I find what I’m looking for. Suffice to say this whole process annoys my husband endlessly.

So yesterday, in my lunch-time, I go shopping with The Man for a few clothes for him when I am offered the chance to buy myself a bikini at the end of it. With that prospect looming, I rush the poor man through hundreds of shirts and shorts, bombarding him with options and urging him to make decisions. With ten minutes left on the clock, I abandon him outside the shop to deal with his spinning head while I go off, running at full speed and careening around the corners.

In the shop I locate the bikini rail and scan through the colours – skipping anything too bright, frilly or flowery. I find two options, and yelp ecstatically when they fit perfectly. Flying past the till and through the door, I find hubby at the car – shocked and wide-eyed at my crazy appearance.

Mission accomplished.

Walking into a Dream - In an interview with George RR Martin, he explains how he felt when he walked onto the set of Game of Thrones for the first time.

“It’s like walking into one of my dreams.”

What an honour. So few authors ever get the chance to see their characters come to life in such a profound way. It must have been so emotional for him. But it also says so much about him as a writer – having the skill to describe a character or place, and to convey an atmosphere in such a way that readers can clearly see it in their minds… It’s a craft and he is surely a master of it. The fact that the set portrayed what he saw in his imagination is nothing less than a tip o’ the hat to his talent. I hope I will be able to write like that one day.
Here's the link to the interview:

Game of Thrones - Book to Screen

Soon -

“Still Round the corner there may wait,

A new road or a secret gate.

And though I oft have passed them by,

A day will come at last when I

Shall take the hidden paths that run

West of the moon, East of the Sun.”

-          The Walking Song, JRR Tolkien
So many places to see, so many adventures to embark on. Soon.

At this point in time I am conflicted with so many dreams, ideas and goals, that I find my mind bouncing from one topic to another without pattern or plan. Not such a bad place to be, as long as I do something about it.

Holiday Countdown, It's Alive!, Scuba Diving

Seeing as it's on my mind so much, I've decided to include a permanent little spot in my three thinks, dedicated to my book. This is for the duel purpose of sharing my progress and keeping me sane.

This said, my three thinks for today are:

Holiday Countdown - This morning I woke up with the astonishing, mind-blowing, attitude-changing realisation that I will be on holiday within a month!  That means scalding hot sand and ice cream on the beach; cold fruit salads for lunch, and walking barefoot in town with a ‘so what’ expression on my face. For those of you outside of SA, I remind you that December means SUMMER!!!!! I cannot wait to get my tan on and walk confidently to the water’s edge – only to throw my hands in the air and retreat, screaming, as the first cold wave touches my shins.

And Christmas!! Oh yeah!! Leg of Impala, sweet potatoes, malvapoeding for dessert…(Note to self: do not drool on laptop again.)

I can already see myself: lying on the beach, reading fluffy chicklit and planning my day only as far as the next meal. In the spirit of all this I have already painted my toenails a shocking pink: Summer Here I Come!

It's Alive! - Now, please do not think me weird/mental/schizophrenic, but it feels like the characters in my book have taken on a life of their own. The other night I was writing blissfully, when one of my male characters fell off a hedge. 

I kid you not.

I did not plan this!! He was supposed to leap over all knight-like and sexy, and off he goes rolling in the dust like an idiot. Surprised at his little mishap, I sat back, aghast.

To make matters worse, my other two female characters found this hilariously funny and would not stop laughing no matter what I did to shut them up. Refusing my supposed control over them, they just stood there: snickering and mocking.

Eventually, I got them to calm down and resume sub ordinance, but then I started laughing. Like a maniac. At my own characters.

The thing is, each character has been so fully developed in my mind: with their own likes and dislikes; habits and personalities - that they sort of take care of their own behaviour now. They are leading me on how they react, what they do and what happens to them.

To be honest, it’s quite entertaining. Mwahahahahaha.

Scuba Diving - Hell no. No way. Not enough money in the world. 

Not quite sure how to pinpoint the exact moment when I developed a mortal fear for encountering a tiny fish in its territory, but I have narrowed it down to about three incidents:

-         -  Being manhandled by a monitor lizard in our backyard pool when I was 6,

-         -  Having my flipper caught in something when the water was too murky for me to see what it was (age 10),

-          - Seeing some massive thing outlined in phosphor in the water, at night, in a lake in Mozambique (quite recent).

I cannot think of anything worse than swimming down into the depths with things peeking out at you from under rocks, gliding over you or bumping into you. And it’s not even the shark thing – seriously! Not afraid of them! I just hate the lack of perspective and the feeling that something out there is watching you. I even hyperventilated once when a fishy the size of my thumb bumped into my mask. Not cool.

I know it’s completely irrational and stupid; that people do it every day and that I’m 'missing out' on a whole world – but really: for the no-nonsense person that I am, I think I am allowed this one small irrationality.

Get geared-up and psyched-up for your holidays (whether it's snowy or unbearably hot), create something of your own - and allow yourself a little craziness. Of the misunderstood fear kind. Not the banging your head against the padded wall kind.

Blackouts, Waiting, Linkin Park

I know, I know. It has been months since I've blogged. I get it. Just for the record, it's not like I decided not to. It just kind of... happened.

Regardless, here are my three thinks for the day:

Blackouts - So last night I get home early due to a miraculous lapse in traffic. Hubby is off to a diving course and I’m home alone. Mischievously, I rub my hands together, trying to decide what I want to do first. So many possibilities! I start making up a list in my head: watch all the programs I recorded; paint nails; make killer sandwich; take long bath; watch series on laptop; work on book… Afraid that I won’t get to everything, I launch into super-speed and start building my dinner: a grilled cheese, ham and jalapeno sandwich.

Just as I pop it into the grill, sudden blackness descends. My first reaction is to scream, but I bite it back just in time when I realise that it’s just a blackout and that I did not, in fact, go instantly blind. I calm myself down and take in my surroundings (pointless). Luckily, the grill was hot, so I manage to cook a decent enough ‘wich. But now what? Just as I start looking for candles (and by ‘looking’ I mean bumping into things and tripping over a mysterious cable), the lights come on!! Yay!! Frantically, I start running around, trying to make up for lost time. I set up my laptop in bed and take a first bite of my dinner as I listen cheerfully to Windows starting up. 

Blackness. Again.

I choke a little on a jalapeno, part surprise and part annoyance. Seeing as my laptop’s battery has been nothing but a decoration for years, it goes off immediately. Dammit!  I scramble for candles again and manage to find a strangely skew one that’s leaning over the side of the holder. Fine, it’ll do.

Just as I sit down to finally eat… LIGHT!!!! Oh joy! I jump up and hurriedly put on my pj’s, put the candle away, start up the laptop again and settle down. 

Dark. 

“You have got to be kidding me!” I shout, effectively peeving off about four neighbourhood dogs. And that was it. My whole plan gone. Sad and all alone, I eat my (now cold) dinner by crooked candlelight. Afterward, I realise I have nothing left to do, so I go to bed. Two hours later; hubby comes home, lights go back on, and he whistles merrily as he heats up food in the microwave and watches TV in the background. Hmph.

Waiting - I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew it was not going to be ideal, easy or glamorous. I knew it would be a lonely road, having to depend on myself. No-one can do it for me. I have to learn, improve, hone, focus and be creative – by myself. But the reality is a lot more intimidating. I am still writing my fantasy novel, pushing through every chance I get. I am contacting publishers. I am sending samples to agents. I am hoping and praying every day. Can it just happen, though? I hate having to wait, doubting myself and going through my proposals again and again, wondering if I could have done something differently. It’s strenuous, draining, scary. I read over my work again, assuring myself that it is perfect – that I would have written it in exactly the same way if I had to go back. But I still doubt myself. Why is it taking so long?

Can’t it just happen like in the movies, with some PA of the Editor coming across my manuscript as it lays discarded under the fax machine, and then reading it and fighting for it until they contact me out of nowhere with a three book deal? 

Guess there’s nothing to it but to keep going. I can create and mold my Fantasy novel, but in ‘the real world’ I can’t do anything but wait. And trust.

Linkin Park - Oh my word. I cannot even begin to describe how awesome the concert was. We went to watch in Johannesburg on Saturday and, upon arriving at the stadium, I knew I was back with ‘my people’: black nails, raucous laughter, army boots and 90 minute queues for beer. The energy in the crowd was something indescribable: hyped-up, friendly, excited. Two hours before the band even peeked out, thousands of people were doing a Mexican Wave; shouting, clapping and threatening to throw each other over the rails on the stairs. When the Kongos opened, the crowd was already close to bursting – and the energy just kept building. All of a sudden, Jack Parow jumps on stage out of nowhere and people go off like a collective siren! Amazing to think that he came on unannounced and that everyone knew who he was – he must have had to change his pants afterward. 

When the band finally did appear in the back corner of the stage, I thought the stadium was going to implode. The noise was astounding! I don’t think I will ever see something like that again and I sure as heck will never forget it. The crowd sang along to e-v-e-r-y word and jumped and swayed in unison. It felt so good to be all studded-out and eye-lined, headbanging and screaming my lungs out – haven’t done that in years! And the South African flag on stage…(tear). That was one of the best experiences of my life – now an even bigger fan.

Keep hoping and moving along, go crazy every once in a while and remember to keep PROPER candles around. Life is too short to be scraping off dripped wax from your carpet.

And leave comments! I get back to you whenever I can!

Falling, Writing, Tiny Tents

Wow, these past two months have been hectic! Been pushing to get my book published and writing said manuscript like a maniac. Anyway, right to it. My three thinks for the day are:

Falling - And I refer to this in the most mundane way possible. I am not talking about falling in love, falling in debt or even falling into the abyss that is your mind. I am talking about the simple act of missing a step or tripping on a shoelace and then hitting the ground in full force. It may seem cruel, but I cannot help but find it funny when people fall. The act is so human - all sense of dignity is lost and any trace of status goes out the window. All that is left is air, gravity and ground. No-one is immune to it.
I do, however, have a theory about it. I think there are two categories that we can...ahem...fall into. You are either very clumsy and find yourself tripping over things on a regular basis, without any too serious injuries... Or you only have about seven or eight spectacular falls throughout your life. I find myself in the second category.
I have a good sense of balance and I have always prided myself on the fact that I am almost "untippable". Two nights ago, though, we were sharing stories and I suddenly realised that was not quite true. I don't have as many stories, but they are pretty fantastic.
Exhibit A: I broke both my arms exactly one year apart from each other, in exactly the same way. On Valentine's weekend when I was 13, a friend and I were playing on the swings in a nearby park. Chains broke, I went flying and came up with one arm skewer than the other. My dad was not impressed. Then, on Valentine's weekend at the age of 14, we went camping. My best friend and I sneaked off so we wouldn't have to help in setting up. We found a rope swing hanging from a tree on top of a hill... I swung. Rope snapped. I flew. Came back to camp with my other arm doubling over on itself. My dad was even less impressed.
Exhibit B: In my final year at university, I came running out of the library (late for class - again). There were these little spinning turn stall thingies (at perfect upper leg height) that you had to go through, which opened when you swiped your student card. I came running at full speed, holding my card outstretched in front of me for a quick escape. The exit I chose, however, was broken. So I swiped in the running, only to collide with the barrier and somersault right over it, papers and books raining down in the lobby. I could barely walk for a week.
Exhibit C: Walking back from town when I was still in school, bags full of snacks and new books and shampoo, I was singing to myself and daydreaming (as you do) on my way back to hostel. Stepped onto sidewalk. Foot went onto concrete, shoe went underneath into drain. Cue catapult action with parcels shooting overhead and me falling flat on my face. After lying there for a few moments, I looked up to see the oranges I'd bought rolling on down the street and a vindictive 10-year old crushing my Oreos with his bicycle, laughing his head off.
Point taken?

Writing - If you've been following my blog, you'll have noticed how I refer to the book I'm writing from time to time. It's part of a Fantasy series that I'm aiming to complete within the next five years or so. Been working on it for a few years already, and it's finally at the point where publishers are having a look at it. I find the whole thing so unreal. I've always wanted to write, ever since the librarians started greeting me by name and my 'friends' laughed at me in my face when I suggested browsing through a bookstore (stuff 'em). Anyway, it had always been more of a pipe-dream, something I'd do when I retired. I made a few attempts at writing, as a hobby, but nothing quite stuck. Then, this idea started brewing in my head. I started dreaming of the story at night and eventually I couldn't get my mind off it at all. And so it began. It has brought so much joy, so much peace, to my life and I know that this is what I want to do. I am loving every step of the journey. Will keep you posted.

Tiny Tents - This is something that happened about 4 years ago. We've shared the story over and over and it's one of the most memorable moments in our friendship, so I decided to immortalise it. When we were still studying, my husband (boyfriend at that time), his best friend, my bff and I were spending the December holidays together. Now remember, in Africa this is high summer. For new years' eve, we decided to go camping somewhere - anywhere. We divided the packing responsibilities amongst ourselves: I was in charge of food and drink, Lina sorted the bedding, Hubby took care of all things fire and Pees was to bring the tent. We had made no reservations (as usual), so we just bunched into the car and headed out into the bushveld, not sure where we'll end up.
After driving around for hours (and fighting over every place we found), we finally settled on a deserted spot next to a random river. Perfect. His Manliness started the fire and I gave out drinks. We laughed and joked and swam and braai'ed our 1kg steaks (yeah) until it grew dark. Then it started.
When the meat was ready, I realised I'd never packed cutlery or plates. Oops. No worries, though, the cooler box served as a perfectly good plate for the four of us. Midnight came and we greeted the new year loud and proud - by chasing away the baboons from our food. Finally, we grew sleepy enough to pitch the tent. Pees unloaded it and set it up by himself within a matter of minutes - because he'd accidentally packed the 2-man tent. We bickered over it, but fatigue won and we braved the tiny tent. So there we were, squashed in on our sides, all four of us on the hard ground - because Lina had forgotten ALL THE BEDDING. No pillows, no foam mattress, not even one blanket. After grunting and shoving each other, we were almost comfortable when the one side of the tent gave in and Himself was nearly smothered by the nylon. We'd pushed his face right into the material and from outside, he now looked like an orc being born. Fighting for air and going into a complete frenzy, he sprang out of the tent and marched to the car. I went after him, thinking he might have a good idea. Settling down in the front seats, relieved that we could stretch out, we were met by the Number One annoying sound in the world: mosquitoes. An entire swarm had moved into the car and attacked at the same time. Horrified, we jumped out and ran back to the tent, almost pulverising the other two as we squashed back in.
After a while, we started laughing. We threw a last few insulting comments at each other, and closed our eyes. That's friendship.

Don't take yourself too seriously, follow your instincts and embrace your maddening friends. They're the ones who'll laugh at, and with you.