Yars, yars. I was interviewed, darling.

The last few months have been completely nuts with us moving to Germany and all. There has barely been a moment's respite for me to have a relaxing cup of tea, never mind blog and promote my book.

But, to update you, I am happy to announce that the writing of the second book in 'The Pages of the Blade' trilogy is well under way! In the meantime, however, feel free to get to know me even better by checking out my author interview on the Smashwords website here.

I'll blog again as soon as I can!

PS wish me luck with my German lessons...

Auf wiedersehen!

Elves! Elves elves elves!

Alon Shalev is a writer with quite the interesting range: politics and fantasy.
Then again, those two seem inevitably interconnected anyway. Go figure.

I had the pleasure of reading 'At the Walls of Galbrieth' - the first book in a fantasy series focused on elves. Here's my review, as posted to Goodreads:

Fast-paced and dynamic, I found this story very exciting! Seanchai is quick to evolve and I can completely understand why Alon won an award for this book - this elf captures the imagination of every day-dreaming teenager. Well, at least the type of teenager I was.
I have to say that I would have liked a bit more meat here and there (the bonds between characters forged a little too quickly for my liking) and I often got lost in regards to the setting.
But all in all, an engaging read. My favorite part (writing wise)? The fact that the characters have these complicated and exotic names... and then there's Uncle. Creative!
If you are looking for action without having to trudge through seventeen chapters to get to it, this is the perfect fantasy book for you. You're thrown right into it on the very first page.

Check out Alon's blog here: http://elfwriter.com/

Super Twisted Short Story

I just read a short story by Richard L. Foland, called 'At What Price'.

Now, if you are looking for something short, interesting, and slightly futuristic (with a lot of twists), give this a go! Here's the description:

In 2012 Alexander Vernick killed his fiance after someone proved she was stealing from him. That person then turned him in and he was arrested and tried. He managed to get off but has spent the better part of a decade looking for the person who ratted on him and he's found him. Now he can have his revenge. But what price will he have to pay another ten years down the line?

Need more info? Here's my review:

Wow - the imagery really got me going! I can see this book successfully be extended into a full-length title, no problem. Richard manages to describe scenes and even futuristic objects with ease. I am a big fan of authors who are able to capture atmosphere - well done! I have to add that I got lost once or twice and I would have liked to know more regarding the details of the big twist, but I really enjoyed it. Even completely forgot about my cup of coffee (a rare occurrence).

Visit Richards's blog to get to know him!

I got my first review!

Oh, happy day! I am so excited! Woke up this morning to my very first review for my fantasy novel, 'The Unsheathed Key'.
It was posted by a reader named LostLigeia on Smashwords.com - rated 5 stars!

Here it is (sic):

'Thrilling and imagenative! “The Unsheathed Key” is one of those books, you cannot put down anymore, once you start reading. Captivating story, authentic characters, attention for the detail and here and there a hint of subtle humor - All this makes this book a nice piece of work and the perfect book, to forget about everything else for a while. Yurika Kotzé tells us a story about the classical sides of good and evil in a fictitious world, but there is a lot more behind her words than just a simple story…
I am waiting for the next one!'

>Blushing profusely<

Thanks, LostLigeia; you have made my day!

*** To learn more about 'The Unsheathed Key', go to my author site and click on Titles. An excerpt from the book is also available ***

Packing up your life, The trouble with having characters in your head, Kruger!

You know, I always dreamed of writing all day. They never tell you that it is incredibly hard work. Now, to pick up where I left off...

Packing up your life - As briefly touched on before, we are moving to Germany. I am so excited! Watching the XGames this weekend, I couldn't help but ooh and aah every time they showed a shot of Munich in the background (quickly followed by chortling laughter at the idiot who went all that way just to fall on his face).
I am desperately trying to learn German, but so far ich bin ein very confused little person. Still, this is not the biggest of my worries. I am in complete agony over what to pack. I have gone so far as to design a little weighing game in my head whereby I mentally place items on opposite ends of a scale to see which has the most value. Cookbooks vs cookie-maker? Cookie-maker (duh, I can always make up the recipe as I go). Clothes vs fantasy books? Fantasy books (yes, I said it). Shoes vs hairdryer? Erm....
But now, this little game creates another conundrum all on its own. You see, mental value does not equal actual value. So I might not necessarily get away with airline weight restrictions if I pitch up with a bag filled with cookie-makers, story books and hairdryers stuffed into shoes.
The whole packing thing creates such a moral dilemma, too, because your friends and family are keeping a close eye on what you decide to take with you across the waters. 'Are you taking that heavy sweater I gave you? How about that massive picture frame with all our photos in it?' Scary.
In the end I'll probably just say 'stuff it!' and wear all my clothes at once, books hidden in pockets and clamped under arms, pictures taped inside my handbag and the cat hidden in the carry-on.

The trouble with having characters in your head - So there I was, thinking I was on a writing holiday for a month after my first ebook was published. I would read every day, wake up late and do nothing but lounge about. Meantime, my characters were thinking, nah!
Without warning, one night as I was innocently drifting off to sleep, they started popping up in my head.
'Don't forget to kill me in the next book!'
'Hey! Psst! Forget about him, what about letting people actually see me?'
'Oh come on! I'm the main character, she should start the book with me and not some snobbish nymph!'
You think that's frightening? Try keeping sane like this.
So against my better judgement, I got up and started making lists. Plot lines, random ideas, people to add, people to kill off, possible fights, cool little scenes...
And there you go. Officially started Book II of 'The Pages of the Blade'.

Kruger! - I am blessed enough to have grown up just outside the Kruger National Park, and to still be visiting it at least once every year. There's nothing like it.
The minute you drive through the gate, it's like you enter another world. A sudden quiet descends on you and nothing else matters but mopani trees and dodging dung beetles. I love everything about it. The rich, dusty smell; waving at fellow park-goers; the slightly stale pies at the restaurants; the frozen yogurt lollies; the early morning drives to look for animals...
At night, I love to sit by the campfire and listen to the bushveld waking: hyenas whooping, lions calling, the odd hippo grunt.
This weekend, we are heading out to the park for the last time before we move to Europe... Ah, crap. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry over my keyboard.

Don't be afraid to take on challenges, never stifle your own creativity, and make sure to visit the Kruger at least once in your life.

PS the above photo was taken during a supervised visit. Don't get out of your car in the park and go off trying to pet cheetahs. They WILL eat you.

PPS Remember to check out the Smashwords Summer/Winter Sale... 'The Unsheathed Key' at 50% off (use promotional code SSW50) https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/323926

Smashwords Summer/Winter Sale

It's that time of the year again... Summer in the south, winter in the north and a universal want for reading material.

The Smashwords Summer/Winter sale is officially on from 1-31 July. Participating authors are pricing their ebooks at 25%, 50% and 75% off - or even giving them away for free! It's the perfect site to scour through for indie ebooks.

My fantasy novel, 'TheUnsheathed Key', is also one of the books featured in the promotion, at 50% off. To get your copy, click here and enter the code SSW50 at checkout (this is exclusive to Smashwords).

Spread the word!

Guest post for Alon Shalev

Fantastic news! I got the chance to write a guest post for award-winning fantasy author Alon Shalev!

Alon is the author of three social justice themed novels, and his first fantasy novel, 'At the Walls of Galbrieth' has just won in the YA category of the 2013 Eric Hoffer Book Awards. The second book in the 'Wycaan Master' series, 'The First Decree' has just been released.

Check out Alon's website and follow him on Twitter @Elfwriter.

My guest post on his blog touches on the African influence found in my own fantasy writing...
Read about 'My Fantastical African Inspiration' here.

PS I'll be posting a new 'three thinks' later this week, despite the complete chaos of wrapping up a wildlife program, emigrating to Germany and looking for a missing cat.

'The Unsheathed Key' on Barnes&Noble

Finally! You can now get 'The Unsheathed Key' from Barnes&Noble...
More retailers to follow. Check it out here in the meantime:

Barnes&Noble

Thanks to everyone who supported the mini promotion this week! It is wonderful to know that my book is floating around somewhere!

Now, to start on Book II...

Ooh! Promotion!

So I've gotten a few pokes and jabs from friends and family members lately about "handin' out a coupla free ones, why don't you?"...

Here's the deal, then:

I have made my book available for free to my friends, family and blog followers for two days!

To get your free copy of 'The Unsheathed Key', click on this Smashwords link and enter the following coupon code at check-out: PF55D.

The promotion will be up and running until 20 June. To read a quick excerpt, and for more info on the first installment of this new fantasy series, click on Author site and go to Titles.

Yay! Excited! Let me know what you think and spread the word to other fantasy lovers if you like it!

'The Unsheathed Key' available at more retailers!

Great news! My fantasy novel, 'The Unsheathed Key', Book I of 'The pages of the Blade' is now available from the following major retailers:

Kobo

Diesel Ebook Store

Sony Reader Store

With more to follow soon...

Given, wrong categories, but I'm having it fixed. Here's more on the book:

“They’d made the legend out to be nothing but a silly story... the entire Realm’s beliefs were built upon what Súiribhán wanted them to believe...”

Twelve years after the Fall, the Freed Realm is still recovering from the devastation sown by the rebellion. However, in the very house of one of Súiribhán’s most trusted workers, hope is hatching once again for the supporters of the Lost King.

The orphan Ileana starts to uncover the many lies embedded into her life, and she just might hold the key to the undoing of the new ruler. Will she choose to use it?

Suddenly, the girl finds herself at the centre of an impending war and she has to decide where to place her allegiance: with Súiribhán, the Lost King... or herself.

Guided by the wise maid Gwen until she makes her decision, Ileana will have to run. From her family, the terrifying flying beasts called hrakar, and the blood-eyed Captain who has haunted her dreams for years...

For an excerpt, go to my Author page and click on Titles.
Yay! So excited!

Letter to my Old High School, Reading Good, The Battle of the Blinds

What an exciting week... My first novel has finally been published as an ebook (see Author site for details and an excerpt) and the feedback has been great! Woke up to two comments this morning that instantly plastered a smile on my face (which will annoy my colleagues for the rest of the day):

'Hard to put down' and 'Great fantasy writing for sure'.

Suffice to say that I am a happy camper. That aside, here are my three thinks for today:

Letter to my Old High School: Lately, I have been getting a good number of requests and messages from old friends with whom I went to high school with. That, coupled with the release of my book, has got me thinking back on my journey so far. So, this morning, I allowed my thoughts to timidly wander back to that Dark Place That Is High School. If I could send a short message to my many teachers and friends; this is what I would say:
Dear Maths Teacher #1 (to clarify, I had about five maths teachers; they passed me around as they each gave up on me in turn): If you were wondering what happened to me halfway through your lesson that day; I climbed out the window while you were writing on the board.
Dear Economics Teacher: I would like to assure you that I was, in fact, working on the school newspaper every time I asked to be excused. Thanks for allowing that; it is serving me well today.
Dear Business Economics Teacher: Sorry for always handing in my assignments very late. It wasn't you; I really just don't do well with structure. And thanks for your Christmas messages every year - they are truly appreciated!
Dear Maths Teacher #5: You, wisest of them all, realised that I was most definitely not on my way to becoming a technician for NASA; so you left me alone. You never bullied or threatened me, but somehow I always managed to get the minimum passing mark... Thank you.
Dear Hostel Father: Thanks for playing along, singing along and allowing yourself to be locked up with us in an attempt to prove that we were the 'better' hostel. Being an hour late for school has never been so sweet.
Dear Afrikaans Teacher: I bunked your class for an entire year. I liked how you tried to take credit for the 'A' I got. PS Not everyone was made to 'keep to the left of the stairs'.
Dear Vice Principal: Do you remember the time you tried to threaten information out of us at assembly? I would just like to point out that pulling a toy lion from your pocket and making it 'meow' into the microphone did not have the desired effect.
Dear English Teacher: Thanks for turning a blind eye every time I handed in a 3000 word essay, instead of the prescribed 1000. Thanks for your history lectures and your impersonation of Iago. And for making me read 'The Hobbit'.
And finally, Dear OMK Girls: To the lucky few who managed to get through that window; the illegal chocolate dealers; the fellow pranksters; the flowerbed-sleepers; the successful past-curfew-sneaker-inners; the snorers; and the one who gave me the fright of my life by crawling out from behind that couch.... Thank you.

Reading Good - Granted, I am a few years behind on this, but I recently discovered this great website that allows you to rate books, make wishlists of ones you want to read, and even recommend some to your friends.

So, in an attempt to increase my online presence and build my network, I joined goodreads.com today. Loads of fun! Go check it out, or invite me as a friend if you are already a member!

Also, does anyone know how I can create an author profile? I find the whole thing a bit confusing.

Another great site where you can share your thoughts on your latest reads, is Booktalk.org. The forums are especially great for venting...

The Battle of the Blinds - A while ago, I blogged about moving house with a cat. Now, to update you on The Furry One's adaptation to life in the city: everything is fine, except...

He cannot figure out the window blinds.

My word, is this frustrating! He has tangled himself, strangled himself and puked in protest; but his nemesis remains unmoved. This means that, every time he wants to go outside, I have to get up and open the blinds. He is one trumpet away from arriving in the garden like a king.

Now, this would all be fine if I could pull up the blinds and leave the window open permanently, but alas - it is winter. And the window is right next to my side of the bed.

What's even worse, is the way in which His Majesty summons me to raise the portcullis. A simple tap on a sleeping nose would do, but noooooo... 

It is much more effective to climb the burglar bars like a ladder, musically strumming the metal as you go, and then proceed to fall on the wooden floor at 3am. That way, your subjects respond much quicker (due to anger and irritation). One must also remember that it is common courtesy to then first stare out the window for a long time, while the subject shivers and curses in the crisp air that is now blowing through the house. 

If the subject should revolt and close the window while screaming at you, an ankle bite is an adequate form of punishment. Should she then lock you in the living room, continue to ignore her for two days.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how my cat and I ended up sitting on opposite ends of the couch with our backs to one another this morning. If this tyranny continues, I cannot guarantee that I will not start throwing him with rotten fruit.

Send your regards to people from your past, meet new ones who share your interests, and never move into a house with blinds if you have cats. You'll never get any sleep.

Big news!! The Unsheathed Key published!!

'The Unsheathed Key', Book I of 'The Pages of the Blade' is now officially published and available as an ebook!
I am so excited! For more on the book, go to my Author Site, or to buy it directly, go on to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/323926.

More retailers to follow soon!

(Now, how to celebrate? I'm thinking steak and cocktails...)

Thanks to everyone who supported me and forced me to get to this point - I owe you all a massive party.

Website launched!

Great news!
You can now visit my official author site! Yay!

Here you'll find info on my first ebook, 'The Unsheathed Key', and news on when and where to buy it.
The book will be published within the next two weeks, initially only on Smashwords.com. More retailers will follow shortly after.

So excited! Go check it out and let me know what you think: http://yurikawrites.weebly.com

Beer and Brezels, One Step Closer, Winter is (not) coming

It has been decidedly way too long since I have last blogged.

So much is happening! Here are my three thinks for today:

Beer and Brezels - We recently got the fabulous news that The Man has been accepted into the Masters program of a German university. (Cue dramatic music). We are moving to Munich.
I am so excited! I have never been to Europe, so I don't have the faintest idea of what to expect - but I'm going anyway!
And, if the documentaries on South Africa are anything to go by, I should not believe half of what is said in any of the doccies on Germany. Surely, they do not walk around in suspenders all day?
Luckily, we have quite a number of German friends, who are all too eager to help us find a flat and settle in. The move is still a few months off, but I cannot wait to walk about the city, doing my shopping and then hopping on a train back to the house - without getting robbed or harassed by either muggers, street vendors or (most likely) police; as you do in Jo'burg.
Another thing I am excited about, is learning the language. Now, as an Afrikaans person, I can understand German well enough (that is, if you speak to me slowly and loudly, like I'm on the receiving end of a bad telephone line), and they tend to understand me, after a while. (Scary thing, though; I apparently come off as quite aggressive, for some reason). But it would be great to be able to understand the menu's, for example.
Such a long list of things that need to be done, before then. I'll keep you posted on the journey.

PS I googled 'most German picture ever' and this came up. Yikes.

One Step Closer - So this week, I finished the final edit on my book, 'The Unsheathed Key'. Now, I'm just waiting for the last comments and changes from my editor.
I. Am. Almost. Done. I can't believe it. Five years after I started the book, I am almost ready to publish it! It's thrilling and nauseating at the same time, though. There is still so much to do.
Luckily, I have the support of family and friends to keep me going. And when I say 'support', it truly comes in different packages: I have been coaxed, encouraged and threatened to within an inch of my life, by well-wishers. Not that I'm complaining. I'm quite the procrastinator.
I have added my Twitter and Facebook links to the top of the page in the meantime, until I can publish and provide more details.
I'm one step closer.
(Is it eerie that 'and I'm about to break' follows that phrase in my head, accompanied by a heavy guitar riff?)

Winter is (not) coming -  Yes, yes. So the northern hemisphere has had the longest winter in two thousand years (or something like that) and everyone is complaining about snow and wind and ice.
Ever thought you could get fed up with summer?
Well, it is June, and I am yet to freeze as I walk out the door (autumn starts in March here). The mornings are chilly, but come noon, I am throwing off jackets and coats at a tremendous rate.
Quit hogging winter, would you? I mean, especially now that I am trying to familiarise myself with cold weather so I don't instantly freeze as I get off the plane in Germany, like some unfortunate Asgardian who peeved off a Frost Giant.
Please come and fetch the sun - I think he's lost. And he's making me look horrible, sweating in my brand new winter wardrobe.

Don't be afraid to head off on an adventure, keep pushing yourself to get that thing done, and please do send some cold weather my way.

The Unsheathed Key - Cover done and dusted!!

Finally! The cover of 'The Unsheathed Key', Book I of 'The Pages of the Blade' is finally done and dusted!
Sleepless nights and fights with my laptop aside, I am pretty happy with the result.

Here's a sneak peek...

My Dear Ol' Headphones, To Read or Not to Read, Hippo Chase

Phew! Things are hectic! Getting everything ready for my eBook is a much more daunting task than I anticipated: website, Twitter, Facebook, cover design, metadata (don't ask), having the manuscript proofread, making final changes...

Let me get my mind off it. Here are my three thinks for today:

My Dear Ol' Headphones: Listening to music with my eyes closed and my headphones planted firmly over my ears, has always been a hobby of mine that brings me instant peace. I'm not quite sure when I started doing that, but I remember building a fort in the living room when I was 10, dragging my enormous 'ghetto blaster' into it, and then falling blissfully into my own little world of Spice Girls and Kylie Minogue (oi).
Going into my teens, my headphones saved me from insanity countless times while I was in hostel. Being an only child, a bit of a loner, and generally preferring the company of Gandalf to that of squealing and gossiping fifteen-year-olds; a noisy hostel was a massive adjustment! Clutching out and allowing the music to take me somewhere far, FAR away... It kept me (mostly) sane.
At seventeen, when I met my husband-to-be, he gifted me with my first MP3 player. Oh what joy!! Now I could zone out on my seven hour bus rides every two weeks when I went home! By the time my playlist ended, there'd only be about an hour of travel left - what a blessing! I was given over to six hours (well, twelve if you counted the round trip) of pure daydreaming.
At university, the little gadgets saved me once more when I encountered one bully (for want of calling them something that would make my family blush when they read this) after the other: screaming and abusive butch girls who thought they were entitled to embarrass and harass me because I was more culturally inclined than their soccer-playing, beer-chugging selves. By switching off my light, locking the door and popping those puppies over my ears, I could ignore them.
Not to mention the next year, when I found myself living with housemates who had taken it upon themselves to try and poison everyone around them (I kid you not). During this, there was no time more peaceful or holy than when I was in studio at 5:00 in the morning, prepping to do my show as I blasted Steelheart through my 'phones (my taste in music had taken quite a turn by then). Being a radio presenter, a producer and a sound engineer granted me the privilege of wearing headphones almost constantly, without looking like too much of an idiot. Being able to escape like that - it really did save me from many a thing.
If I had to pinpoint it, I'd say that I probably learnt the habit from my dad. When I was very little, a real tjokkertjie, I remember creeping upstairs to his music room. He used to go straight up to it the minute he came home from work. There, I'd find him listening to Dire Straits and Paul Simon, eyes closed, head back.
Many years later, while sitting next to a fire and having a drink together; he related one of his war stories to me: he'd once completely ignored his commander when they'd just come out of battle in Angola. Fed-up and having lost many of his troops (he was a sergeant), he wasn't in the mood to listen to that man's opinion on anything. So he stared him in the face, took out his Walkman and pressed 'play' to listen to Bob Marley's 'Buffalo Soldier'.
Fighting on arrival. Fighting for survival.
Guess it runs in the family.

To Read, or Not to Read - If you'r a regular peruser of my blog, you would have gathered by now that I am an avid reader of pretty much all things written. Now, that's good, I guess. Except when you are trying desperately to write something yourself.

You see, my problem is that I tend to empathise a bit too much with the characters in books. While reading a story (or a magazine article) (or an ad for arthritis creams), I will quite often stop and try to put myself in that person's shoes. Whether it is the hero or the villain, the interviewer or the interviewee, the old lady or the poor photographer who had to take the shots of her; I want to fully understand them. I try to experience their emotions and envision what I would do in that situation.

This is all fine and well, but when I submerge myself like this while writing my own stuff, I tend to draw it into my own story. Not only that, but I get so consumed by what I'm reading, that I find myself thinking in that writers style! That. Is. Not. Good.

So, I've taken it upon myself to throw a mental dust sheet over my bookcase at home, to stop anything from clawing its way into my brain. Much too often I have found my character's bowels turning to water after reading George Martin; chewing the fat with old people and getting highly aggressive at the sight of graffiti after an encounter with Holden Caulfield; or getting all Helen Fielding-y and becoming v. busy and important.

Don't get me wrong, I need to read for inspiration.

But once inspired... Let's put it down, now shall we?

Hippo Chase - I work for a production company that makes wildlife documentaries. That being said, you can imagine the types of harrowing stories that fly around the office on a regular basis: camera crews stranded by seasonal floods, producers playing tug-of-war with tigers (the 'rope' actually being the talent that turned his back at just the wrong moment) and the odd snake bite or two. So, this morning, I found myself remembering my own experience from a few years ago...

When we were still dating, The Man and I went on a mini holiday to Botswana, camping as usual. Long story short; there was rain, a bit of a flood, and everything was quite miserable. On our last day there, the weather finally cleared and we decided to go for a drive in the reserve. Stopping next to a pool, hubby heard some bull frogs going mad nearby. Curious, we got out of the car and went looking for them. Heads down, our intense search consumed us completely - until we heard the distinct snort of a hippo. Very close to us.

We looked up just in time to see a massive male staring at us from across the pool, approximately 8 meters  from us. Now, in case you don't know, hippos are considered one of the most dangerous animals in Africa (both because they are incredibly aggressive and permanently in a peeved-off state).

Next moment, it came charging at us through the water. We gave each other one look, and bolted. I've never run so fast in my life. 

Now, a strange thing happens to you when you have had a number of these experiences in your life (stories for another day): everything becomes funny. By the time we got to the car, we were almost doubled over in laughter - and we didn't stop giggling until we got back to camp.

There, our mirth came to an abrupt halt: we found a baboon ransacking our tent. He ran up a tree, and continued to happily snap The Man's braai tongs at him. What an insult.

Zone out once in a while, find your own voice and ALWAYS RUN FROM HIPPOS!

The Terror of Taking Photos, Planning, Driving on a Public Holiday

Things are cooking over here! Have a look at the Book page for news...

That aside, here are my three thinks for today:

The Terror of Taking Photos - I don't do well with photos. Never have. No matter how much I pep-talk myself beforehand, psyche myself up and try to remember that my right side is my 'good' side; I ALWAYS end up looking completely alien on the photo.
Sometimes, I hardly recognise myself: no neck, fat cheeks, small eyes and flat hair (I'm painting quite the pretty picture, aren't I?). It's frustrating and incredibly annoying!
Months before our wedding, I tried practicing in the mirror so I would at least be proud of the shots that will eventually be plastered all over my, my parents', my grandparents' and my new family's walls - but to no avail. Though some can be displayed in an inconspicuous fashion, peeking out from behind other family photos in such a way that you can only just see my fringe; the rest are best left in the album (or what would be the album if I had actually had them printed). Because, you see, despite my mirror sessions, my make-up artist for that day decided that 'tan' wasn't such a good look... So by some obscene twist of fate, my perfectly natural (also a few months' worth of work) tan face became covered in a light pink foundation. So now,  in the pics, it looks as though my shockingly white face has been photoshopped onto the body of a tanned bride. Oh. My. Word.
So, with that fresh in mind, I went to have my author photos taken yesterday.
I picked a friend of mine to do the snapping, both because she is a brilliant photographer, and because she is the kind of friend who will tell you if you are looking like a total idiot.
Satisfied that I would have someone there I could trust, I (once again) planted myself in front of the bathroom mirror and tried different looks. I wasn't too happy about my modelling abilities, but decided that it will never improve and that it was time to accept it.
So, prepared for absolute failure and the inevitable "Chandler Photo Face Freeze" (Friends Season 7, Episode 5), I set off to the shoot. Well, our version of a shoot; which includes coffee, a lot of gossip and chasing kids out of the frame at the park where I was trying desperately to pull myself into a tree (long story).
Whether it was due to the relaxed surroundings, the extremely buttery croissant I had just eaten, or the breeze that flipped my hair perfectly - the photos came out GREAT! I am incredibly surprised, and very VERY HAPPY!
But all the external elements aside, I know it only worked because of my friend. Thanks so much, Landi, for taking the best photos of me that anyone has ever done. And for offering up your public holiday to traipse around a park and boost me up a tree. And then for leaving me there and laughing hysterically as I try to get down.
I really cherish our friendship.

Planning - Lists. Getting things done and checking them off. Thinking ahead. Setting up a schedule. Keeping to it. Telling everyone I am on schedule. Realising I am not. Finding more things that need to get done. Add them to lists. Read books on time-management instead of working on project. Realise mistake. Try to make up lost time by reading how to do it.

So. Many. Things.

I will get there, though. I'm sure of it. Sometimes I need the pressure to coax myself into actually doing it.

At least, that's what I like to tell myself late at night.

Driving on a Public Holiday - I live in Gauteng, South Africa. Now, if you live here or have spent some time here, you will know that people here drive like maniacs. Even the nicest, most docile person (like the friendly receptionist or the small old man that sat next to you in church) instantly turn into a swerving, beeping, fist-waving lunatic the minute they leave their driveway. 

This is due to a number of factors. Like the fact that the roads are not designed to handle so many cars. Or the fact that most of the roads are peppered with potholes large enough to swallow a Fiesta (another post on that, here). Or the fact that, in Africa, there is a general disregard of rules.

Solid white line = cross it. Red light = challenge accepted! Shoulder of road = extra lane! No road whatsoever = adventure!

Without any doubt, if you find yourself driving in Johannesburg, you will experience: a taxi cutting in front of you and then stopping dead (at least once), a person trying to sell you hangers by running alongside your car, a bus overtaking you in a residential area, and a guy in an old turquoise Polo driving horizontally across four lanes so he can stop in front of you and reset his gps. Once, I even saw a homeless guy surfing a shopping trolley down a hill and I have personally witnessed three goats waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green so they could cross the street. I kid you not.

So then, what are we crazy Gautengees to do when a public holiday rolls around?

Suddenly, there's no pressure to get anywhere and less cars on the road. Shock and awe.

People are torn between driving around aimlessly and extra slow, and speeding and beeping people out of the way. There's a sense of limbo - a parallel universe where you get somewhere on time and no-one is pushing your car over the line the second the light goes green. We go into a trance-like state and, for a day at least, peace and harmony abides. 

Weird. You almost want to start a fight for want of normalcy. 

Aim for that perfect photo at least once in your life, don't get too overwhelmed and try to keep your cool if you ever drive in Johannesburg! (I said try).

Yes, it changed again...

I know, I know... I am annoying myself at this stage.
Reason behind all these changes? I am setting up a website for my Fantasy series and I am in the process of branding.

So bear with me! All will be settled within a month. Promise.

How to Move House with a Cat, Idea-Vortex, The Plan

First of all, thanks to everyone who told me how much they like the new look of Three Thinks! Having much fun with it myself!

With that out of the way, here are my three thinks for today:

How to Move House with a Cat - Set up strategic plan of action to relocate feline ruler. Find and borrow travel box big enough - and with strong lock to keep subject from escaping through extreme display of kung fu.
Buy 'highly palatable' (according to box) dewormer so as to comply with new estate rules. Watch happily as cat scoffs it all down. Frown disappointingly when cat throws it all back up.
Buy new dewormer - tablet form. Locate cat and pet reassuringly as try to pry jaws open. Stuff tablet down throat. Find tablet spat out under bedside table. Corner cat again and vow to take no prisoners. Find tablet behind curtain and mop up blood from savaged arms and fingers. Crush tablet and dissolve in milk like scaly bartender with bad intentions. Watch happily as cat downs spiked drink.
Lock up cat in house on day of move. Freak out when cleaners let him escape. Find him under shrub and lock up in garage. Freak out when husband lets him escape. Find him near washing line and lock up in box.
Finally load up vexed cat in car. Listen with grinding teeth at his opera tenor laments all the way to the city (an hour's drive) and try to keep him from clawing leather seats through hole in box.
Unleash crazed creature in new bedroom and watch warily as he explores new surroundings. Frown in confusion when he hides under duvet and refuses to come out. For two days.
Allow him to explore garden on third day. Stick plasters on wounds after catching and putting him back in house afterward. Nearly wet yourself when scary clawed monster suddenly attacks your leg in dead of night in darkened hallway. Throw cat out window and shout after him 'I'm only looking out for you, but fine! Fend for yourself you ungrateful animal!', or something similar.
Sigh in relief next day when companion clumsily jumps back through window and nearly strangles himself on foreign burglar bars. Seems like he'll be fine.

Idea-Vortex - For some strange reason I tend to get the best ideas for my book at approximately two minutes before I fall asleep. In my drowsy state I always attempt to write them down or type them into my phone, but paralysis always sets in just as I'm reaching toward the bedside table. The next morning, I'm faced with having to go through my entire mental process of the night before in an attempt to locate my brilliant idea among the thoughts of hamburgers, purple dresses and scenes from Troy. It's painstaking, but most of the time it's worth it. Like the perfect set-up for my next chapter that will magically link the the next part of the book with the previous. Other times, however, I go through all the turmoil, thinking that a gem of an idea might be hiding somewhere in my subconscious, only to find that my midnight stroke of genius was nothing but an idiotic plan of my heroine buying an orange in town. Can't win 'em all.

The Plan - Recently (and when I say 'recently', I mean 'yesterday') I read up about something that has been intriguing me for quite some time. It's a business opportunity that, if done right, could have the potential to finally launch my career as an author. It's exciting and scary at the same time, but I really do think that I should go for it. I am giving myself a month to decide and to do my homework. I'll keep you updated!!

Dream as much as you can (whether asleep or no), give yourself the opportunity to try something new and buy a big enough travel-box (the seating in your car will be grateful).

More new things!

Like I haven't had enough already...

So you'll notice that two new pages have been added: Whatnots and The Book. On the Whatnots page you'll find random things that amuse , inspire or irk me - comment away, People of the Internet!!
The Book page will contain all the news pertaining to The Unsheathed Key - hopefully to be updated soon!

Please enjoy the new add-ons!

So many new things

Besides the fact that I have just moved to a new place (again), set up a new monthly budget and bought new scatter cushions; I have given my blog a new look too! New name, new image (given, not the one I wanted as it seems an impossible task to upload a coveted picture) and new readers (hopefully).

My blog has grown exceptionally these past few months - apparently I am doing something right. Thanks for the support and feedback!

As mentioned in a previous post, I am aiming to share much more about my writing journey here. As it tends to fill up my already clogged mind, this is the perfect place to spit out a few ideas. My basic 'three thinks' will stay the same, though - so don't go hyperventilating, OK?

By the way, if anyone can explain to me (preferably in simple words and in steps) how to upload a background image to Blogger that will not repeat - that would be great! I am not tech-savvy at best of times and all this talk of codes and whatnot on the forums has raised the same impaling dread in me that I used to feel before a maths exam...