In the meantime, here are my three thinks for the day:
Superstores - You know the kind: where they sell everything from microwaves to toys to lawnmowers. I'm not a big fan, but my parents cannot get enough of these types of stores. I find it very amusing to watch as my dad gets snookered into buying something completely useless like a melon-ball maker or scissors that can cut a can (why?). The more enthusiastic the salesman, the more money my dad dishes out. He once came home with a bright pink knife sharpener with a handle that was too small for my big Boer of a dad to hold. I ask you. Their adventures in these stores are not limited to buying all sorts of scrap, though. We've had quite a few incidents...
My dad always wants to look at something at the very top of the highest shelf. You think you know where I'm going with this, but you're wrong. See, they had just invented remote controlled golfcarts a few years ago. My dad was eyeing these cool new gadgets that would improve his game, when he reached for the middle one in the row... They were really high up, so he could just barely touch it with a fingertip. What he didn't realise is that he'd touched the ON button. And away it flew, driving at full speed across the shelf, pushing off it's counterparts one by one. In desperation, my dad ran for the remote, only to put it in reverse gear... See? You did not expect that.
Another time, my mom tried to buy my dad a hifi system for his birthday, as a surprise. The store wouldn't allow her to buy it though, because she shared a bank account with my dad and they needed his signature. That would have ruined the surprise (obviously), so the negotiation continued. They became more adamant, she became more annoyed. One thing led to another and the next thing I know staff are climbing on ladders to spy at my angry mom and the poor manager over the shelves surrounding his office. Oi.
But my parents also do enjoy themselves. They are always trying out the latest gadgets (cue my mom ducking and diving in fright, in front of the new 3D TV screens) and my dad listening to some random CD in the audio department. They always come home full of smiles, ready to show of their new high-pressure car washer and the breadmaker they "can use every day". The bargain they are most proud of, though, is the dishwasher they got at 60% off. It was the newest one on the market and neither they nor the bewildered cashier could understand why it was so cheap. So they loaded as quickly as possible and sped off, tyres squeeling, in case the store figured out the mistake. I love them so much.
Flat Tyres - I would like to thank the municipalities of Gauteng for their determined refrain from fixing the various potholes and missing manhole covers that we find on our province's beautiful roads. I absolutely love bouncing involuntarily in time to my radio and trying to understand the hand signs of my fellows citizen as he tries to point out my latest flat tyre. I have had the joy of exactly 6 flat tyres in 5 months now, and I am so grateful. If it were not for these strategically placed potholes, I would not know the fuel station attendants by name and my journey home every day would not be filled with angst and a sense of victory when I made it safely there. Thank you, City of Johannesburg, for making every arrival an accomplishment.
The Giggles - It's one of the very best, and the very worst, feelings you could experience. Beginning to laugh uncontrollably at the exact moment when you should not. Like in church. Or school assembly. Or a meeting with the CEO. Your mind is berating you, trying to will you into submission, but your face muscles completely refuse. You cannot stop smilling to the point where your lips start quivering and you're praying for something funny to happen so you can get it out. To make it even worse, there's usually a partner in crime across the room, who smiles knowingly at you when your eyes meet. My husband and his best friend are the very worst when it comes to this. We have had to sneak out of church so many times because they simply cannot control themselves. And it's always something stupid. Like a spelling mistake on the notice board or the new pastor who stutters from nerves. Once we get outside, they double over, gasping for air, all red in their faces - and then they realise it's not so funny after all. Completely unnecessary - but oh so fun. Here's to loads more inappropriate giggles.
Those are the three things on my mind today. Remember to check your tyres regularly, always ask for assistance, and laugh whenever you can - even if it means a scolding.
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